I King

Agosto 29, 2002

Why Did He Do That - Part 1

Two days ago, I was downtown.

Posted by King at 06:07 PM | Comments (2)

Agosto 22, 2002

Lobster Magnet

Lobster Magnet makes me happy.

Posted by King at 07:44 PM | Comments (33)

Can we agree?

Can we agree that if ever you should find yourself snorting cocaine off of your mother's tits, you've gone too far?

Posted by King at 05:52 PM | Comments (15)

Today Again

I think organic vegetables taste better than non-organic ones. I recognize however, that this may be some form of mental programming. Therefore, I am going to fall back on logic -- or at least, what I call logic. I can't deny that some people I know have called it 'idiocy'. But I say that logically, the earth has been preparing food successfully for a lot longer than humans have. Therefore I trust the earth's experience more. For instance, if I were interviewing two people for the job of growing the food that my publicly-traded company was going to eat, and one of them was the earth, and one was man, then the earth would get the job.

I guess ultimately, you can't have one without the other. In order for us to get food, we need the earth, and we need us. I just think we should let the earth be the boss.

Posted by King at 10:38 AM | Comments (5)

Today

Today is August the 22nd, 2002. If you're a fan of the number two, then today is for you! Last night I went to the Giggle Shorts comedy festival. It drained my energy. I limped out halfway through the second screening holding my lower back because it hurt. There were less than 2 funny videos. Still, there were people laughing. I think some people laugh because they themselves become very confused and uncomfortable for a moment and interpret this as "humour". It's a sad reality in life that people with good senses of humour, laugh less.

Two plus two plus two plus zero plus zero plus two is eight!

Posted by King at 09:20 AM | Comments (7)

Agosto 13, 2002

Outsider Video

TheDiscourse sent me this link to some funny videos. One is out-takes of a shitfaced Orson Welles trying to do a TV commercial for Paul Masson California "champagne". The way each take begins is fucking crazy. I can't figure out what Welles is supposed to be doing, but he lets out this confused moan that's maybe halfway between: "Oh, hello" and "Oh god I'm dying."

Great stuff.

Posted by King at 07:33 PM | Comments (11)

Agosto 08, 2002

Referrals

Often people will end up at skitfaced by accident, when they were looking for something else entirely.

Here's a list of the top 89 keywords people tried on various search engines. All of these people ended up somewhere in skitfaced. Some of them I can guess where, and some I have no fucking clue.

Highlights include:
"skull fucking movies free"
"i can i get fucking rich"
"fucking shit ass christ piss"
"i need to fuck my wife"

and, amazingly: "i am so angry i can taste your heart"

Wolf is definitely responsible for a lot of them.

Keywords used on search engines (Top 89)
anger management 29 %
spine cancer 2.5 %
chork 2.5 %
sandwich press 2.5 %
item 1.9 %
columbian necktie 1.9 %
fucking shit ass 1.9 %
14.384.123952 1.9 %
police dispatch video clip 1.2 %
starving models 1.2 %
csearch 1.2 %
gunt 1.2 %
repeling 1.2 %
free anger management 0.6 %
free advice fucking ass 0.6 %
211 0.6 %
pornographic celebrity 0.6 %
pontiac firebird bird of prey 0.6 %
whipping 0.6 %
skitfaced 0.6 %
rage management 0.6 %
hypno zombie 0.6 %
chork pops 0.6 %
food systems jobs 0.6 %
fuck maggie q 0.6 %
www.anger management 0.6 %
anger management solutions 0.6 %
anger 0.6 %
anger management exercises free 0.6 %
kidult 0.6 %
4 0;4 0;13 0;d 0;13 0;d 0;9 2800c;b 0;d 0; 0.6 %
honda civic security radio code 0.6 %
110 1 0.6 %
skull fucking movies free 0.6 %
exciting new invention 0.6 %
christ 0.6 %
0.15 0 . 0....... 0.6 %
prison workout 0.6 %
maggie q 0.6 %
do i need anger management 0.6 %
dual residence 0.6 %
hatred of asians 0.6 %
tony calabrese 1 0.6 %
0.15 4 0.1 3.200.1.4.10.3.. 0.6 %
concept car sketches 0.6 %
aaaaaaaa 0.6 %
angry management 0.6 %
cscom 0.6 %
pornographic actresses 0.6 %
knots for repeling 0.6 %
crime 0.6 %
comidas de mexico 0.6 %
how much is in a handle of vodka? 0.6 %
sohu 0.6 %
hot enough to anger 0.6 %
checked 0.6 %
i hate micronesians 0.6 %
fucking jesus 0.6 %
smcrb 0.6 %
topsearchbox./dirsearch.adp 1 0.6 %
anger get over 0.6 %
fancy fucking 0.6 %
dances with anger 0.6 %
anger management wolf hardeyk 0.6 %
i can i get fucking rich 0.6 %
windows media player sound problems 0.6 %
skull fuck 0.6 %
fucking shit ass christ piss! 0.6 %
rhinoceros herbivore 0.6 %
def leppard security 0.6 %
invisible city the 0.6 %
chickens attacking 0.6 %
polski porn 0.6 %
fuck iran 0.6 %
i am so angry i can taste your heart 0.6 %
pornographic website 0.6 %
i need to fuck my wife 0.6 %
peitschen or whipping or disciplin 0.6 %
shrunken people 0.6 %
1978 firebird 0.6 %
5049181 0.6 %
mandango 0.6 %
invisible city 0.6 %
origq 0.6 %
top fucking 0.6 %
interchangeable signs 0.6 %
skitfaced.com (someone actually searched for this?)

Posted by King at 03:55 PM | Comments (0)

El Skitfaced

skitfaced esta muy bien en espanol.

Posted by King at 03:16 PM | Comments (0)

Agosto 06, 2002

Coincidences?

I've decided to write down every coincidence that I experience, no matter how insignificant, in the comments section of this entry. Feel free to do the same.

Posted by King at 09:27 PM | Comments (8)

Agosto 02, 2002

Rocking The World Wide Internet Update: The Hives

I saw the video for the Hives tune "Hate To Say I Told You So" off of Veni Vidi Vicious. It's super-fucking stylish. The Hives are weird -- I still think because they're Swedes -- but I don't know...

Also, compared to a lot of bands, and the Strokes especially, they're kind of ugly guys. Which is what's so great.

Ugly people who rock, rock the hardest. Always.

Posted by King at 03:59 AM | Comments (8)

Agosto 01, 2002

Richard Scary

I can't believe I haven't linked to the hardboiled dictionary yet. Well, now I have. I love this fucking thing. Here you can find several of mageebags' favorite terms for money.

Posted by King at 12:57 PM | Comments (1)